You make or break my day

You make or break my day

Ever had that feeling of having that one VERY person who is so powerful with your life that it can make or break your day?

Yes I have that person. I have always been very independent and really such a loner then suddenly, a person came then just meant the whole world to me.

I sure know, that I can live with or without that person but I’d rather not. I have chosen to be with this person everyday, every day of my life that yes, I made him my other half, which makes me sad when he’s sad, extra happy when he’s happy. I love it when we get along well, talk about stories and stuff. Sometimes we fight, we argue and throw tantrums with each other, those days are more likely to be avoided but I appreciate those still, for given those low moments make us appreciate the coping and catching up days too.

As we lay down and watch random movies online, we came across a movie with a king giving a gift to his queen, this looks like a music box to me, when opened, this played their song. Unconsciously, I asked him, do we have “Our Song,” too? We have been together for quite a while and yet I still can’t recall any song, specifically dedicated to us. I was just trying to make him laugh and just waited for him to tell me that, I’m funny then move along to another chit-chat topic but, I was surprised when he answered: “I have something in mind, I wouldn’t want you to laugh but I will tell it to you, soon.” I just smiled and said, “I guess that is just an excuse, you just want me to not feel bad that you can’t think of any.” So then the topic has passed and we just finished watching the movie.

Then the morning came, I hurried waking up, to make our breakfast, this time I cooked eggs, yes simple fried egg and bread, Wahaha I am a little lazy, to just make it extra special, I added slices of cheese and just gleamed a big smile when I gave it to him I said, “Breakfast in BED!!” “Surprise!” Yes my surprise is just an egg. LOL He usually loves all the cook I prepared and just be happy with whatever I give him. I’m such a lucky girl, LOL.

He didn’t touch the food but he just, took me in our office room (where all the stuff we use for work is placed.) I frowned then for he didn’t give any attention to my (almost specialty breakfast,LOL) but when we got inside the room, he whispered “Surprise…” I saw a big tarpaulin, with a big LOGO “OUR SONG” is written. The title is “The Truth” (Yeah, google it guys if you want to) But the lyrics printed out gave me chills, just, reading the lines “If you wanna know the truth, you make or break my day…” Oh my, I can still recall the feeling.


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Oh. My. God.

Grab your copy of Goldfinch because I WAS ACCEPTED TO BENNIGTON. Yep. Already. I’m going to graduate early and then move to Vermont.

How did this happen? Well, some guy on Uncle Vance’s carpet cleaning service apparently went there! I have to admit, part of me was a little put off. But I know-check your privilege. Every job is important, and just because someone is working with their hands to make an environment beautiful doesn’t mean they are any less brilliant or creative as someone who sits at a desk writing. Well, that’s what this guy, Victor, actually does. He’s the PR/ Graphic Design/ Social Media guy for Done Right, and according to Uncle Vance he is really talented.

Victor overheard Vance bragging to someone that I was looking at colleges already, and when he heard that it was his Alma Mater, he got excited. He asked Vance for my number.

Not surprisingly, Vance almost didn’t give it to him. I mean this guy is just too old to be talking to me and just too young. I think he’s like thirty, which is almost double my age. My uncle is really conservative, but he let him get my email.

Vance emailed me this:

“Hello, young lady! I hear you’re interested in BC. I commend you. Your nose has lead you in the right direction. My years there were golden, and the people I met still reach out. Why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourself and where you’re going in this glorious life. Maybe I can be of some help to you.”

The young lady thing was funny. Pretty old-fashioned, but nice. I wrote to him back about how I’m editor of the newspaper and I am a great archer and love to read. I also told him about my dreams. I want to publish books. I want to learn violin. I want to learn to read Greek. Mostly, I want to be around people who are smarter than I am so that I can grow in the ways I can’t even think of now.

I guess what I said made a good impression on him. He wrote a letter recommending me, and just like that, they did. They said yes, I mean.

I should probably end the post here in case anyone in my family ever sees this (seriously mom if you’re reading, don’t tell you’re brother in law) but I Facebook stalked Vance and he is REALLLLLYYYY CYUUUTTTEEE. i just got so girly. I just have to say, thirty sounds really old but his face looked young. Like he could be a teenager or something.

And- I can’t believe I’m admitting to this online but I just have to get it off my chest- I friended him.

And he friended me.

And we chatted.


Breathe. I’m sure he would never think of me as anything but a kid. And I don’t know what I would even say, since when I went to a college party with my cousin Mariah I felt like such a kid. Vance and I though, we really had a rapor going in Facebook chat. He loves Donna Tartt, too. He heard her talk at the school for a commencement. (SHouldn’t that word mean “beginning,” not graduation? I don’t get it.

Unless….. the “commencement” is referring to life. Not school. That actually makes a lot of sense).

So, I think it’s gonna be good. I know it is.

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Back from Tour

Bennington was UH-MAY-ZING.

I am going there. I don’t care what happens. I may apply to twenty five other schools, but I am going there.


It was this magical feeling when I walked on campus. It reminded me of when I was a young girl and I would go to one of those preserved mansions, where you walk along red-roped hallways and poke your head into rooms that haven’t been changed for a hundred years. Like the Biltmore, in North Carolina with my cousins, before they moved to Texas. That was one I went to more recently, in middle school. I can’t remember the names of the other ones. But I remember walking in and just KNOWING in my heart that I had BEEN THERE BEFORE.

Haters will say its just cultural memory. Like with the Titanic, or Salem witch trials. These are all events that stirred memories for me when I learned about them in school. Cynics say, its just your imagination. But if every cup of water has at least one molecule that passed though Napoleon Bonaparte’s body, then why wouldn’t intense, world-altering events remain in out emotional memory?

Anyway, I knew I belonged there. The dappled light, the cozy library, the rolling hills. The focused students, the gentle and energetic professors. Every nerve in my body said YES YES YES.

I’m so happy. 😀

Did I mention I’m here in Texas? Yep. Of all places. We’re celebrating new years with the Marks. Jen’s away doing a semester abroad in PARIS! So the house it pretty quiet. Uncle Vance’s carpet cleaning business is going really well, though, so there a really good feeling in the air. I went with him to the office and it smelled so nice. We really need to get our carpets cleaned back home, because I felt such a sense of calm in a spic and span environment like that. Mom is a great housekeeper, on top of her main career, but I think she should give in and hire a pro now and then. If only so she can relax a bit. Maybe I’ll even surprise her and pay for it. Get Josh to go halvsies ;).


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