Josh here. Welcome back to Codeshelvers. Blair is slacking on the updating here; apparently exams are more important. That’s whatever. Anyway, I wanted to discuss something thats been on my mind.
Christmas is around the corner. My family has all kinds of christmas traditions, like i’m sure yours does. Every year since I can remember, literally since I was a baby, my parents, sister and I have gone to my grandparents’ house for a Christmas eve party. This sounds pretty normal, but trust me, it’s not. Not when you see how they all treat each other.
so we live in North Carolina, which is pretty convenient since people are coming from Connecticut, Upstate New York, Tennessee and out in New Mexico. We all get together and catch up. A lot of my cousins I only really see around christmas. I’m glad I get to see them, and we have a good time, but its also kind of forced. I don’t know how exactly to explain it, but ya know, everyone is dressed up, they all start arriving at Gram and Gramps and we have to scream with delight and smile these huge smiles and big each other like we’re long lost best friends. And these are people I’ve seen literally 16 times. Ever. Ok maybe like 20 or so, if you include weddings and funerals.
They all get super drunk and smile a lot, and I know there are genuine moments of love and connection. But it also kind of feels like we’re putting on an act, and I do my best to ignore the passive-agressive comments the adults make to each other. Which is easy to do, for the most part, since I’ve always been at the kids table.
Then dad and mom and Blooper and I head back home with leftovers and have our own party. Thats the best part. Usually some friends will come over, kids and also our parents’ friends, and we sing carols at the piano and watch stupid christmas movies on abc family or something.
So far so good, right?
Well the weird stuff comes christmas day.
We pile into the car with presents and go BACK to g-squareds house.
(I always thought this was normal, until I realized that most families just stay home on christmas morning, relax… mom and dad get to have- you know- mom and dad time while the kids play in the snow and watch cartoons and wait to open up presents… basically, christmas and chill.
instead, we go to my grandparents and open up presents really
s l o w ly .
Like, hours. And my grandparents wrap five dollar bills in separate boxes with separate bows.
I really don’t mean to come across as ungrateful, because i know a lot of people don’t have grandparents and don’t get and money at all. its weird to open all these little boxes, because we’ve been trained to act super excited after each one.
i just want to be authentic. i want my gratitude this holiday season to be real, not some show. who are we putting on the act for?
so i want to try being authentic this christmas. I don’t want to be rude to my elders, but i also don’t want to play along with fake shit.
we’ll see how it goes.
thanks for reading.